A study shows that husbands tend to be more stressed than their children when it comes to their wives

Marriage is often seen as the key to happiness and long life, but new research suggests that it may have a surprising effect on its spouses: Husbands can stress out their wives more than children. Yes, that’s right.

A 2013 survey involving over 7,000 mothers revealed that nearly half reported their husbands as the primary source of stress—twice as stressful as the kids. The men, who are responsible for the stress in the home, seem to be more important than the little humans with their sleepless nights and sticky fingers.

Why does owning a spouse cause so much stress?

The study highlights a number of reasons.

• The burden of household chores and parenting: Around 75% of mothers surveyed said that they were responsible for the majority of housework and parenting. The family harmony could improve dramatically if husbands developed a sixth-sense for diaper changes and laundry baskets.
• Lack of support: One fifth of women believe their partner isn’t contributing enough. This leads to tension and fatigue. “Marriage, as one might say, is a partnership and not a spectator activity.”
• High Stress Ratings The average reported stress level was 8.5/10. This is just a little bit below the panic that comes with accidentally sending an inappropriate text message to someone else.
• Lack of communication In many cases, women’s concerns are not heard by their partners.

The Longevity paradox: Men benefit, women don’t

This is the real kicker. Numerous studies show that married men live longer than single counterparts. Social, emotional, or even financial support by a spouse can often lead to healthier lifestyles and better outcomes. According to a study, single men face a 32% greater risk of death in their lifetime than married men. This means they will often die 8-17 year earlier.

Marriage does not give married women the same advantage. The studies have shown that married women often live shorter lives than single women. It could be because of the stress they experience in their family and household.

This is the classic scenario of “he survives longer because she keeps her in line but she pays the cost”.

Marriage: A blessing or a stress test?

What’s the story? Why is there a double standard?

Experts believe that while marriage offers emotional support, married women often carry the invisible workload of keeping the family ship afloat — managing the kids, household, work, and often smoothing over their husbands’ shortcomings (and slide tackles in charity matches).

This can lead you to chronic stress which is linked to a number of health problems including heart disease and high blood pressure. It also affects your immune system.

What is the takeaway? Marriage is an interesting mix. It’s a life partnership filled with love, laughter—and sometimes, stress that rivals a Champions League final tackle.

How to keep the peace (and your health)

A simple solution could be a partnership of equals. Shared chores, parental duties, and emotional work could help ease the burden. Communication helps, too—because yelling “Pass me the remote!” The underlying problem won’t be solved by yelling “Pass me the remote!” during a heated match (although it may make things more interesting).

The old saying “As the old saying goes” could be updated to:

“Happy wife, happy life… and maybe, a longer one too.”

Marriage may not be stress-free, but if couples work together and have a sense of humor they can get through the chaos. Because at the end of the day, love might just be the best medicine — even if it comes with a few side effects.